Sexual Purity: Help Your Child To Choose Right

Sometimes as parents, we want to leave our kids to chance, or to some ‘other person’ to be taught about some issues of life. In our present times when Sex has been trivialized and made so cheap, it becomes an uphill task trying to teach our children the importance of sexual purity.

“Everyone is getting down as soon as they are old enough”, we may often hear.

But I am sure we also should know that the fact that everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right. It is our duty as Godly parents to guide our kids towards making the decision for purity.

Guiding them towards making a decision for purity is different from rolling out some ‘Dos and ‘Don’ts’. When our kids are guided, we are empowering them with the right information, that will ultimately help them to make the right decisions when the time is right.

How can we arm them with the right information and help them to keep pure?

• Help them to understand the reason for the choice to remain pure. The desire to please you as a parent or to remain a ‘virgin’ till marriage will not be enough motivation for your children when they are faced with pressure and emotions are running high. They may still be ‘technical virgins’ but may have been involved in sexual sin – there are other sexual activities that can lead up to sex. So, if your children don’t find proper motivation, then they will just get involved in those other sexual sins, while still maintaining a ‘virginity’ just for show. They must find a higher motivation which is what the Word of God says about sexual purity:

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

• Deliberately safeguard your kids from an early age: I have no apologies for anyone who visits my home, about the kind of TV programs, shows, or games my children are allowed access to. My rules are my rules, as long as you wish to be in my home, you are not permitted to watch certain channels when my kids are home. Even I don’t watch some channels till the kids are in bed. If you don’t agree, then you can’t visit with me. As my kids have grown older, those rules have become theirs and now they know to change the channel if an inappropriate ad pops up on the sports channel or some other similar situation.

What should you safeguard your kids from?

What they see, What They Hear and What They Say.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 [NIV]

“But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.” Matthew 15:18

“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is unclouded, your whole body is full of light. But when your eye is evil, your body is full of darkness.” – Luke 11:34

• Build A Lifestyle of Openness and Sincerity: Some parents feel automatically disqualified to speak with their kids because of some sinful sexual past. That fact should even spur you on to speak with your child, so they are not drawn into the same mistakes you found yourself in. I am sure if some parents had these kind of information at their disposal, they would have raised kids to make better choices. After all, we desire our kids to be honest and truthful at all times, even though we may have found ourselves to be untruthful at some point in our lives. It is important to let your child see that you are not perfect, that way they will be bold and trusting enough to discuss any issues with you.

• Lead a Life Worthy of Emulation: When your child sees you as a role model with a lifestyle worthy of emulation, then they are likely to desire to be like you. Model a lifestyle of purity for your children.

“Children are Great Imitators, so give them Something Great to Imitate” – Unknown

We have been given a responsibility by God to render guidance to our children on this Parenting Journey. We cannot afford to be slack in this.

There’s no better time to start than Now!

All the Best,

Oluseye Ashiru