In Laws – A Necessary Evil? Practical Tips To Have A Beautiful Relationship with Your In-Laws
Did you hear me say in-laws?
Yes you did. I believe as a girl matures, it’s a fact she needs to get real with. And it starts with a good mind-set towards it. Here are some tips that have helped me.
Have a positive mind-set about your prospective in-laws in the future if you are still on your way to say yes. If you have already said yes, you can still begin to cultivate a good mind-set towards your in-laws. Believe that you won’t have problems with them contrary to popular belief. I know the popular belief constitutes an aversive view of in-laws but we can replace it with a positive view.
Prayer is also an effective tool in handling in-laws – sending prayers forth as a single woman and as a married woman, praying about different issues that affect your home in respect to your in-laws. I have done both and can testify that it really works wonders. I have seen God intervene at the last minute, bringing succor to my relationship with my in-laws.
Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar – this is a rule, the Holy Spirit taught me in my home. It doesn’t mean foolishness; it just means your in-laws will not stay forever. While they are around, let them have their way as much as wise assertion can permit. Give them their due place, not looking down on them or competing with them. Try not to demand respect from them because they are in your home but let them have their place whenever they come around.
Patience – be patient with them. People don’t change overnight in most cases so be patient. With patience, you can find angry, discontented in-laws come around and become allies. You have to shut your ears to all the negative vibes you have been getting about them and hope for the best.
Love and accommodate them – there is power in love because, God is love. Anytime we employ this weapon, it will always work. Love your in-laws, encourage them to be better people, don’t fight every time your spouse sends them money, allow planned visits and sometimes impromptu visits, send text messages or place a call to them often at least monthly. Let them know that you care irrespective of the distance barrier. Accommodate their excesses after-all, they are human beings too.
In-law relationships can become quite valuable if you positively explore the possibilities in them patiently.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.“ – Proverbs 14:1
Love You,
Blessing Onwuamah
This post was first published on www.deardaughterofgod.com
The mindset of seeing “in-laws” as enemies should also be removed because we will also be seen as such since we all are “in-laws” as along as the family keeps expanding through marriages. Most of the time, the problems we face are created in our own minds through unnecessary suspicions and it rubs off on the other party who now sees it as a challenge. There is serious need for a paradigm shift if we want peace in our homes, and it starts from us.
I quite agree with you. No one was born an ‘in-law’.We often expect that our in laws will be automatically bad people, and it’s not usually so. Sometimes, those in laws do exactly the same things that even our family members are capable of doing. But we overlook those things for our own family, and harbour resentment when it comes to in laws.
If we are able to love and treat them the same way as ours, it will go a long way in helping to build good relationships with them. After all we are now family.
My thoughts exactly
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